It's been longer than I've wanted since writing my last blog post. A lot has been happening for me since the last blog post that has taken my time and attention away from writing at my computer. I've officially moved into SF Zen Center, City Center, Beginner's Mind Temple, or Hosshin-ji (www.sfzc.org/cc). This happened a lot sooner than I expected. It's been a hectic rush of moving the things and items that I immediately need for my day to day. That was my Valentine's Day celebration: moving in. It's been a hectic rush of moving the things I'm not ready to let go of into storage (thank you Zipvan!). It's been exhausting and exhilarating working in the kitchen at Zen Center full-time as a Work Practice Apprentice. I have a couple of hours break in the afternoon which is really for rest because of the physicality of working in the kitchen, but I've been selling and getting rid of my boxes of comic books, my personal library of books, CDs, and DVDs during that break time, so I feel extra exhausted. I'm very thankful that sitting and practice is a self-sustaining, energizing joy for me. Otherwise I might collapse!
Enough with background and excuses, what's been on my mind lately is the precept of Not Misusing Sexuality. I think for the most apparent reasons, when I think about sex, I like to think of the enjoyment of sex and it's usually the case that for most of the time, whether I'm in a relationship or not, I'm not in the act of experiencing sex. And even when I am experiencing sex, it's not always the case that it is enjoyable or that it is what my expectations of having sex are at the time. So, of course, I want to talk about and think about sex, the enjoyable or pleasurably naughty kind.
Part of moving into Zen Center as well as participating in the practice periods here, is the signing of a contract, or shingi. I believe I read that Eihei Dogen, the teacher who brought Buddhism to Japan from China in the 12th century and founder of Eihei-ji temple in Japan, the big Soto Zen monastery, developed the shingi contract as a way for the monks at Eihei-ji to live together harmoniously and with a common understanding. I also believe that Dogen's idea for the shingi is based on the sixteen bodhisattva precepts. I am not sure what the Eihei-shingi says about not having romantic relationships and not misusing sexuality, but the SF Zen Center shingi is clear about not starting a romantic relationship within the first six months of residency. The individual practice period contracts also state that the signer will not start a romantic relationship for the duration of the practice period. On the surface of this tenet, it seems to promote abstinence and feels like sex is a sin or romantic feelings are wrong, but I don't see it as such. A lot of emotions arise when starting to concentrate on practice. All of these precepts walk the line of what is healthy and what is a distraction. If my choice is to focus on practice, I don't want to distract myself with the pleasures and enjoyment of sex and romance. I've even felt at times that fantasizing about a fictional romantic relationship or sex or how I wish actual relationships would be is more painful than enjoyable. Not to mention the time and attention and focus that being in a romantic relationship needs in order for the relationship to flourish. This attention would take away from the focus on practice. So the shingi is about helping us focus on our intention rather than being the dreaded parental rules of the house.
I've also had a couple of conversations with friends around movies, a documentary and a movie based on a true story, with sex slavery/human trafficking and underage sex work as the subject matter. All of us agree that underage girls being forced or coerced into having sex or the sex industry (which for me includes pornography, "modeling," "hostessing," escorting, prostitution, brothels, pimps/madams, stripping/exotic dancing, online "chatting/dating" paid per minute/visit) is absolutely unethical. Underage girls and boys are not mature enough to make sexual decisions for themselves in the same way that adult men and women can make sexual decisions for themselves, and that's deemed lawfully regardless of any ethical background. Also forcing someone into a sexual act or situation regardless of age is misusing sexuality. This is also a law, although when two adults are involved in a sexual coercion accusation with no other witnesses, it's difficult to enforce. All in all, the ethics around underage sex and non-consentual sex seems clearly a misuse of sexuality. What seems to also be a misuse of sexuality to me is supporting these venues where underage and enslaved people are forced into any type of sex work. So the people who create the sex business and the people who abduct the sex workers are misusing sex for their own gain. Not only is the not misusing sexuality precept being broken but also not being possessive, not stealing, not lying, not praising self at the expense of others, not harboring ill will, and not disparaging the three treasures (Buddha, dharma, sangha) (although all the precepts are intimately linked, so breaking one is, in essence, breaking them all). I also believe that the people who partake in the offering, whether it's consuming porn pictures or video, or paying for a prostitute, are also misusing sexuality. There is nothing wrong with feeling sexual or looking at porn or enjoying sex or wanting to have sex when you aren't in a relationship and don't have a regular sexual partner. I think feeling sexual and desiring sex is a normal part of being human and we all have our particulars that arouse us and get us off. But by being a consumer of the sex industry creates the market for the sex industry which raises the demand which helps the people who enslave others to continue to do this, so in essence the consumer is paying the sex trafficker/pimp/enslaver and thereby supporting the misuse of sexuality as well as supporting greed, stealing, lying, ill will, and disparaging the three treasures. And then my thoughts expand upon that. What if I choose to go into the sex industry? I am in need of money and income. I know that I am physically able to be a stripper or work a pay-per-view online chat room. As a consenting adult, I can choose to work in the sex industry. But if I do this, am I not also creating the market for the sex industry? If I'm filling a need of consumers, that creates more consumers, which then supports the sex traffickers to up their quota of sex slaves. Isn't this misusing sexuality? Even if it's unintentional, doesn't the choice to work in the sex industry help to support the people who choose unethical and unlawful means of sex work? If I am choosing the bodhisattva path to save all beings and become a Buddha, I have to choose not to work in the sex industry, even if it's consensual on my part, even if I create my boundaries, even if I protect my sexuality, even if I believe I'm offering something to people who equally compensate me. As a bodhisattva warrior, I have to choose not to work in the sex industry because I will not be saving the beings who become enslaved, who are forced into sex, who are underage, who become addicted to drugs, who are greedy, who are enslaving others, who are misusing sexuality.
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