I am back home in San Francisco, across the bridge from where I spent most of January. My three weeks at Green Gulch Farm for Reb Anderson's January Intensive 2013 were the most full, joyous, quiet, wholehearted three weeks of practice that I am so grateful and genuinely thankful for, as that rich experience will never happen again quite like that. For many participating in the intensive, there was a lot more difficulty than I experienced. I had my moments, but I remained healthy and cold/flu-free.
Right at the start of the Intensive, there were people already ill and either resting outside of the zendo (meditation hall) for the entire day or spending some time in the zendo and some time resting. Then, during that first week, the fully assigned zendo, which had formerly been a barn, had less and less people sitting in it. And throughout the Intensive there was a lot of coughing and sniffling and nose blowing sounds to add to the ambience of Pacific Ocean waves crashing on the shore, frogs croaking, trees dropping dew and acorns on the roof, rain, coyotes howling, owls hooting, and stillness. Granted, one of the reasons to sit at Green Gulch is to listen to these amazing sounds of nature outside, but the suffering of coughing and sneezing helped create the uniqueness of this Intensive. It also brought up empathy and compassion in me. Normally I'd be sitting with thoughts of judgement about the people who sounded as if they didn't cover their coughs or sneezes, or the people who didn't unwrap their cough drops before entering the zendo. You know, these days they announce in theatrical productions to "please unwrap all candies and turn off all cell phones before the play begins." This time I felt empathy for these poor people suffering through this Intensive and fortune that at the moment I was not suffering from the cold/flu/illness, but my fortune of not suffering from the cold/flu/illness could all change in the next moment. I wanted to help as best I could as I was healthy and well. In this case, the best way to help was to continue to practice as wholeheartedly as possible. To sit for those who could not sit in the zendo. To do a little more work than was originally assigned to me to fill in the holes left by the people convalescing. To take care of myself. To make a gesture of care taking on my personal time.
Sitting for three weeks in a rather full and monastic schedule of zazen, facing myself, being with myself, being still with myself, being quiet with myself allowed me to deeply listen to myself. I love how Zen practice is body oriented. Sitting upright, truly upright, is a comfortable and sustainable way to sit. If my body leans slightly or one of my weak areas becomes unsupported, then I feel the pain of my imbalance. If uprightness or imbalance is manifested in the physical body causing freedom from suffering or suffering, we can notice how the uprightness or grasping/turning away of our thoughts can also cause freedom from suffering or suffering. In fact, we can feel it. So, while everyone around me was falling ill, I kept checking in with my body. Do I feel sick? I feel well enough to follow the schedule, but I am feeling a bit run-down and tired. I don't have a headache, but my throat feels a little scratchy and my nose is running a little bit. Can I sit in the zendo? Yes, as long as I have a tea with molasses and a cough drop beforehand. I would feel more comfortable sitting in the zendo if I had a tissue up my sleeve. Even though I'd like to exercise and stretch during this break, I think my body needs to rest. I was able to follow the schedule completely for all three weeks, but only because I listened to my body and took care of it.
Practically speaking, getting enough rest and washing often did the most help. I washed my hands more often than I usually do and used hand sanitizer in addition before meals. Somewhere in Dogen's writings (I haven't read it yet, so I'm not sure exactly where. It might be in The Pure Standards for the Zen Community or in a section of the Shobogenzo about monks' conduct in the zendo) there is zendo etiquette around cleanliness. There are short verses on brushing the teeth, washing the face, washing the body, and washing the feet. I think in the admonitions before starting sesshins the cleanliness imperative includes cleaning teeth, face, and feet each time before entering the zendo. During this Intensive, I did my best with teeth and face, and I did in fact wash my hands at every break. Washing your feet more than once a day is very difficult, so I only washed my feet when I took a shower, but I've discovered that massaging the feet helps with endurance through sitting, so I massaged my feet at the time I washed them. In addition to possible obsessiveness with washing, the Tenzo (head of the kitchen) fed us many dishes with lots of ginger. My preference is not for ginger, but if it's in my oryoki bowl, I'm going to eat all of it. So I also ate a lot of ginger during these three weeks. And finally, my constitution is usually a little weaker than most because I'm anemic. I take an iron supplement, but I really need red meat as well. Zen Center is a vegetarian institution, so I didn't have any meat to increase my strength, but I did take seconds on the leafy greens (and there are lots of leafy greens grown right there on the farm) and added molasses to my teas. I don't like sweetening my tea, but molasses is a source of iron and is lower on the glycemic index than cane sugar and honey, so I took my molasses medicine.
Perhaps warmth was also a big factor. I was fortunate to be assigned a room right outside the zendo, so I didn't have to go outside to sit in the mornings. In fact, my room was a single and it was relatively big with a big closet in which I changed into and out of my robe. I could easily grab my towel and toothbrush and wash up quickly before going back into the zendo. And, the best gift ever, the former tenant came by the second day with a space heater. She said she had another heater but thought I might want to use this one as she had found it helpful when she lived in the room. We were hit with those very cold days and nights, and that heater along with my sleeping bag and silk sleeping back insert saved my life.
As I was following the schedule that was posted, I also felt empathy for those that couldn't follow the posted schedule. I know they all wanted to be in the zendo with everyone else. I know they didn't want to be suffering in their beds. I know those that had positions or jobs like Ino (head of the meditation hall), doanryo (zendo jobs like ringing the bells or hitting drums to tell us when to sit and when to do walking meditation), or oryoki server (oryoki is formal meal in the zendo) really wanted to do their job rather than sweat and toss and turn in their beds. But all the people who fell ill had to follow the schedule in the best and most wholehearted way they could and that was to rest and take care of their bodies. And because of this, I was asked to be an oryoki server on three different crews, two different crews during the first two weeks of the Intensive, and then on one crew that served two days during the last week of sesshin. I was appreciative to have the opportunity to serve the community and to help those who couldn't follow their schedule as server.
We had three personal days, in which the schedule is very light with a later morning sitting at 6:30am, service, then informal breakfast in the dining hall. You're pretty much off after that with time set aside to clean your room. Back in the zendo at 5:30pm to sit, service, and dinner in the dining hall with either small group discussion or sitting in the zendo to close out your evening before chanting the Refuges in Pali. On our second personal day, one of my friends who is a resident at Green Gulch, had not yet emerged from his room for a week and a half, so I decided to make him a tea of ginger, lemon, and honey. This is Senior Dharma Teacher Blanche's famous care taking elixir of lovingkindness that she makes for people who have been knocked out by colds. I asked the Tenzo's permission to use a little bit of ginger and one lemon (honey is available to the community), which she granted in the amounts I asked for. I did my best steeping the ginger and adding lemon juice without seeds and putting in just enough honey. I was also invoking Blanche's grandmotherly mind and working with my wholehearted lovingkindness. I think this tea was healing for me as much as for the recipient. When he was feeling better and mingling back in the community, he thanked me for the tea. There is something about the fullness and emptiness of the three wheels, giver, receiver, and gift, here.
Now that I'm back at City Center, the practitioners here have also been and are being hit by this terrible cold/flu/illness epidemic. I heard that the entire nation has been getting sick as well. Please, everyone, take good care of your bodies. Listen deeply to your body and follow its schedule, which might be to take some time to rest. And if all else fails, make yourself some grandmotherly mind lovingkindness tea.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Headed to the Farm
Although I've only just started this blog (there's only two other posts) and can't gauge what my posting consistency is, I will be taking a leave from posting any blogs from January 5-27, 2013. I'm heading off to Green Gulch Farm-Green Dragon Temple (http://www.sfzc.org/ggf/default.asp) for the annual January Intensive. This is three weeks of a monastic Zen Buddhist schedule, the third week of which is a seven-day sesshin, or completely silent, introspective practice (no talking, no reading, no writing, no computer, no phone). I won't have time or means to post regularly while I'm there. Although not far from the hustle and bustle of city life, Green Gulch Farm is in Muir Beach, and although a lovely, short hike to the beach, it's situated mostly in the woods. And if you've ever seen the height of a redwood tree, let alone a whole forest of redwoods, you'd understand how cell reception and connectivity could be spotty to nil. So, during this month, I'll be very quiet blog-wise as well as otherwise.
However, during the first two weeks of the Intensive schedule, there is a study period and there will be some personal time. I will continue to write in my sketchbook, ask questions of my practice, and sincerely investigate the way. I can share this with you when I return.
What is this Intensive and what do I hope to accomplish by participating? I've heard some refer to it as a meditation retreat, and as there is a lot of sitting meditation in the schedule, and it is located away from the busy-ness of life and in the beauty of nature, I don't consider it a retreat. The daily schedule is very full starting with the wake-up bell around 4:25am. One period of zazen is about 40 minutes long, with about six periods throughout the day. There are also classes, lectures, and study periods; services and chanting; breakfast and lunch as formal meditative meals (Oryoki); a two-hour work period; and a couple of breaks for personal time. The end of day, or fire-watch is at 9pm. A sixteen-hour day full of inactivity and activity, presence, and practice is physically and mentally challenging. For me, this is not a time to relax and sit back from my life. For me, the next three weeks are an urgent call to wake up to my life.
The Han, which is an instrument made up of a block of wood hanging from a rope that the Fukudo (doanryo position) hits with a wooden mallet to call everyone to the zendo to sit, has an inscription on it that says something like this:
Great is the matter of Birth and Death
Quickly passing, gone, gone
Awake, awake each one
Don't waste this life!
When you hear the han, immediately go to the zendo. When you hear the call, get to it, waste no time. Life is precious and short.
However, during the first two weeks of the Intensive schedule, there is a study period and there will be some personal time. I will continue to write in my sketchbook, ask questions of my practice, and sincerely investigate the way. I can share this with you when I return.
What is this Intensive and what do I hope to accomplish by participating? I've heard some refer to it as a meditation retreat, and as there is a lot of sitting meditation in the schedule, and it is located away from the busy-ness of life and in the beauty of nature, I don't consider it a retreat. The daily schedule is very full starting with the wake-up bell around 4:25am. One period of zazen is about 40 minutes long, with about six periods throughout the day. There are also classes, lectures, and study periods; services and chanting; breakfast and lunch as formal meditative meals (Oryoki); a two-hour work period; and a couple of breaks for personal time. The end of day, or fire-watch is at 9pm. A sixteen-hour day full of inactivity and activity, presence, and practice is physically and mentally challenging. For me, this is not a time to relax and sit back from my life. For me, the next three weeks are an urgent call to wake up to my life.
The Han, which is an instrument made up of a block of wood hanging from a rope that the Fukudo (doanryo position) hits with a wooden mallet to call everyone to the zendo to sit, has an inscription on it that says something like this:
Great is the matter of Birth and Death
Quickly passing, gone, gone
Awake, awake each one
Don't waste this life!
When you hear the han, immediately go to the zendo. When you hear the call, get to it, waste no time. Life is precious and short.
The Ethics of Blogging
I saw this blog as a way for me to sort through or process my practice. Plus I love writing and find it a comforting way for me to process and share. I've been telling friends that I started this blog, and for the most part the response was interest, neither positive nor negative. One well-respected friend, though, had a strong reaction to my writing a blog about sharing my practice and questioned how responsible that was. This has been a troubling question I've been working with ever since. Is it harmful to myself and others to publish my personal engagement with practice in such a public venue? There are other people who write blogs and others who write about practice. What are my responsibilities to the truth and my private thoughts and feelings? Is this helpful?
In the early 2000s, I spent about six years as a copyeditor for a trade magazine. I not only edited articles, but I also authored content. I never studied journalism in school, and in fact approach writing from an artist's background and perspective. I take truth-seeking writing very seriously, though, and was introduced to the Society of Professional Journalists' Code of Ethics by one of my colleagues and friends. You can find the full code, PDFs, and its history on the Society of Professional Journalists Website: http://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp
The SPJ states that this code is an ethical guide, and although respected and upheld by many, it is not intended as a set of rules nor is it legally enforceable. With that disclaimer, there are four headings with itemized specifics underneath of how one can approach journalism ethically. I find these guidelines resonate strongly with me. The main journalistic precepts are: Seek Truth and Report It, Minimize Harm, Act Independently, and Be Accountable.
The messages conveyed through these precepts and their itemized details have to do with mindfulness, compassion, and wise speech/right speech. In seeking the truth, one needs to be truthful in gathering information, understand that there are many perspectives to a situation and diligently research and give voice to all sides including the voiceless ones, take great care in presenting accurate information, and give credit to sourced information and not steal colleagues' work. Minimizing harm taps into our compassionate human nature by interacting with sources and subjects from an empathic place, respecting self and others, and letting go of focusing on recognition and fame. Acting independently means trusting your own intuition and presenting an unbiased story. It also addresses conflicts of interest and bribery. And finally, being accountable is about being human and doing one's best. It's about admitting mistakes and correcting them. It's about practicing the same standards that one holds others up to. All the things delineated as well as the implied meanings are things I can get behind, and I hope I can continue to practice with these in this blog. Let me know when I stray.
In the Zen Buddhist tradition, there are 16 bodhisattva precepts that practitioners work with regularly, including revisiting them during the Full Moon Ceremony. Of the sixteen, the first three are the Refuges (taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha), the following three are the Pure Precepts (avoiding evil, practicing good, and saving all beings), and the final ten are the Grave Precepts. These grave precepts can be organized into three groups, precepts involving body, speech, and mind. The precepts involving speech are, the fourth: not to lie (be truthful), the sixth: not to slander (speak out of lovingkindness when speaking of others), and the seventh: not to praise self at the expense of others (be modest). These precepts on working with speech wisely are at the foundation of the SPJ's code of ethics. Not lying is about seeking the truth and reporting it, not slandering is about minimizing harm, not praising self at the expense of others is taking accountability in admitting mistakes and abiding by the same standards I'm holding others to. Other precepts that align with the journalists' code are the second: not to steal, the fifth: not to intoxicate body or mind with substances or doctrines (promoting clarity and awareness), and the eighth: not to be avaricious (be generous). These can be associated with not plagiarizing, a commitment to clarity in truth, and a generosity in presenting all perspectives with an empathic understanding as well as not taking gifts in exchange for journalistic favors. With the bodhisattva precepts, there is also a sense of working with them as a guide, not hard and fast rules. Here these guidelines/precepts have been used over time to help end suffering, and are merely a suggestion with an offer to try them for yourself to see if you feel a lessening of your suffering. I think the SPJ's code is also a way to steer away from suffering or difficulty.
The question remains, is writing this blog on my practice ethically responsible? It seems the answer depends on my approach. I want to share my personal story with you, victories and struggles alike. I don't want to harm anyone, including myself, by doing this. I take the bodhisattva precepts seriously, and although I haven't yet formally taken the precepts in a jukai ceremony, I do look at them and vow to work with them every month during the full moon ceremony. Ever since I was introduced to the Society of Professional Journalists' Code of Ethics, I have been conscientious of ethics in my writing, even having left the magazine years ago. When we vow to save all beings, these beings are sentient and non-sentient. My understanding of non-sentient beings is everything else not alive, including inanimate objects and ideas and thoughts. Saving all beings is a non-harmful, compassionate act, and I hold my words with as much care. I hope these words I offer bring compassionate understanding of my perspective of truth. The intent is lovingkindness.
In the early 2000s, I spent about six years as a copyeditor for a trade magazine. I not only edited articles, but I also authored content. I never studied journalism in school, and in fact approach writing from an artist's background and perspective. I take truth-seeking writing very seriously, though, and was introduced to the Society of Professional Journalists' Code of Ethics by one of my colleagues and friends. You can find the full code, PDFs, and its history on the Society of Professional Journalists Website: http://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp
The SPJ states that this code is an ethical guide, and although respected and upheld by many, it is not intended as a set of rules nor is it legally enforceable. With that disclaimer, there are four headings with itemized specifics underneath of how one can approach journalism ethically. I find these guidelines resonate strongly with me. The main journalistic precepts are: Seek Truth and Report It, Minimize Harm, Act Independently, and Be Accountable.
The messages conveyed through these precepts and their itemized details have to do with mindfulness, compassion, and wise speech/right speech. In seeking the truth, one needs to be truthful in gathering information, understand that there are many perspectives to a situation and diligently research and give voice to all sides including the voiceless ones, take great care in presenting accurate information, and give credit to sourced information and not steal colleagues' work. Minimizing harm taps into our compassionate human nature by interacting with sources and subjects from an empathic place, respecting self and others, and letting go of focusing on recognition and fame. Acting independently means trusting your own intuition and presenting an unbiased story. It also addresses conflicts of interest and bribery. And finally, being accountable is about being human and doing one's best. It's about admitting mistakes and correcting them. It's about practicing the same standards that one holds others up to. All the things delineated as well as the implied meanings are things I can get behind, and I hope I can continue to practice with these in this blog. Let me know when I stray.
In the Zen Buddhist tradition, there are 16 bodhisattva precepts that practitioners work with regularly, including revisiting them during the Full Moon Ceremony. Of the sixteen, the first three are the Refuges (taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha), the following three are the Pure Precepts (avoiding evil, practicing good, and saving all beings), and the final ten are the Grave Precepts. These grave precepts can be organized into three groups, precepts involving body, speech, and mind. The precepts involving speech are, the fourth: not to lie (be truthful), the sixth: not to slander (speak out of lovingkindness when speaking of others), and the seventh: not to praise self at the expense of others (be modest). These precepts on working with speech wisely are at the foundation of the SPJ's code of ethics. Not lying is about seeking the truth and reporting it, not slandering is about minimizing harm, not praising self at the expense of others is taking accountability in admitting mistakes and abiding by the same standards I'm holding others to. Other precepts that align with the journalists' code are the second: not to steal, the fifth: not to intoxicate body or mind with substances or doctrines (promoting clarity and awareness), and the eighth: not to be avaricious (be generous). These can be associated with not plagiarizing, a commitment to clarity in truth, and a generosity in presenting all perspectives with an empathic understanding as well as not taking gifts in exchange for journalistic favors. With the bodhisattva precepts, there is also a sense of working with them as a guide, not hard and fast rules. Here these guidelines/precepts have been used over time to help end suffering, and are merely a suggestion with an offer to try them for yourself to see if you feel a lessening of your suffering. I think the SPJ's code is also a way to steer away from suffering or difficulty.
The question remains, is writing this blog on my practice ethically responsible? It seems the answer depends on my approach. I want to share my personal story with you, victories and struggles alike. I don't want to harm anyone, including myself, by doing this. I take the bodhisattva precepts seriously, and although I haven't yet formally taken the precepts in a jukai ceremony, I do look at them and vow to work with them every month during the full moon ceremony. Ever since I was introduced to the Society of Professional Journalists' Code of Ethics, I have been conscientious of ethics in my writing, even having left the magazine years ago. When we vow to save all beings, these beings are sentient and non-sentient. My understanding of non-sentient beings is everything else not alive, including inanimate objects and ideas and thoughts. Saving all beings is a non-harmful, compassionate act, and I hold my words with as much care. I hope these words I offer bring compassionate understanding of my perspective of truth. The intent is lovingkindness.
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